Some might call it midlife crisis or perhaps even depression, either way it is apparent that Bobby Savage was suffering from low self-esteem. Much of the problem stemmed from the fact that he compared himself to his friends Mark Kaufman and Abe Drummond. Do you think it was wise for him to compare himself to them? Do you have a tendency to measure yourself against others too? If so, do you think it is helpful or hurtful to make such comparisons?
CONVICTION
Early in the story, Bobby was convinced that he had seen his long lost friend Raymond Pacheco, even over the objections and advice of others. Ultimately, Bobby was forced to trust his own judgment and act on his convictions. Have you ever pursued something you believed in very strongly? Did others oppose you for it or encourage you to see it through?
RIDICULE & TRIALS
Facing ridicule or being embarrassed is something we all experience during our lives, some more than others. For Bobby it occurred several times throughout the story. The first time was at the softball game. Then on another occasion when his mother-in-law was introduced, and finally when his wife and close friends doubted his judgment. As human beings, our reaction to this kind of challenge is as diverse as one person is to another. Some of us respond in a negative way––demonstrating anger, frustration, even hostility towards others. Yet others of us become withdrawn from the experience or simply shrug off such criticism. What kind of trials have you faced in your life and how did you react to them?
LOSS
When Bobby’s daughter left for college, it was an emotional time for him. His only child was leaving home to further her education. Letting go of someone we love is not a rare experience. In fact, we all have those moments in our life, whether it’s leaving our parent’s home once we reach adulthood, or the separation of a parent or someone we cherish. Perhaps it is even the loss of a loved one. It is never an easy time. Was there a time you lost someone you cared for? How did it affect you and how did you deal with it?
FRIENDSHIP & SUPPORT
Ultimately, Bobby’s friends respected his decision to locate the man who resembled Raymond Pacheco, even going so far as to support Bobby’s effort by accompanying him to New York. How important is it to you to have the kind of friendship and support where someone is willing to stand next to you in time of crisis?
FAILURE
Despite several promising leads, the guys came up short in finding the mysterious man time and again. Bobby was finally confronted with the fact that they may never find the person they were looking for. If faced with similar circumstances and apparent defeat, would you have given up and walked away? Are there moments you have faced in your life where you could have thrown in the towel, but fought on anyway?
RELATIONSHIPS
When Bobby was introduced to his daughter’s boyfriend, Nathan, it was an awkward moment––one that had less to do with the boyfriend, and more with the fact that no one was good enough for his little girl. As human beings, it’s easy to judge someone before we’ve had the chance to truly know them, or develop preconceived ideas before a word is spoken. It doesn’t make it right though, and such bias and poor treatment is something we have to recognize in order to correct it. Was there a time you treated someone unfairly and later regretted it?
REST & RELAXATION
At one point in the story, the guys enjoyed a well-deserved day at Yankee Stadium and a wrestling match in Madison Square Garden. As people with busy lives, it’s not too difficult to become heavily burdened by things such as sports, homework, social activities, or a job. It’s during such stressful times that rest and relaxation become all the more important. What’s more, as social beings, many of us prefer to share our time with those we care for and appreciate. How important are social activities for you and with whom do you share them? What kind of things do you do to relax and enjoy yourself?
CAUTION
By a stroke of luck, Bobby and his friends discovered a vital clue to the identity of the mysterious man. However, in their haste to discover more they failed to think things through and fell into a trap. Why is it important to keep things in perspective and consider things carefully before doing them?
CONFRONTATION
Strewn throughout the story are confrontations––some under playful circumstances and some under hostile ones. Unfortunately, disagreements and quarrels play a part in all of our lives, whether they are of a verbal or a physical nature. For Bobby it occurred several times, and although he didn’t go looking for a fight, he found himself facing one time and again. What about you? When faced with a hostile situation or a possible altercation, how do you react? Is it the wisest course of action to turn and walk away, or must you stand and hold your ground at times?
SELF-ASSURANCE
Near the end of the story, Bobby was called a hero for his quick thinking and bravery––a view he chose to dismiss. Instead he told everyone he had come to accept himself for the average, everyday person he was. Maybe he wasn’t the biggest or the strongest person in the world, but it really didn’t matter. He realized it was pointless to be something he was not. He finally figured out he was special in his own way. Have you ever stopped to wonder if you have certain qualities or characteristics that others admire? If so, what are they? Do you think someone might call you a hero for something you did?
LIFE’S LESSONS
By the end of the story, one of the characters ends up incarcerated. Although a life of corruption may appear glamorous in motion pictures and television, the simple truth is only one kind of future awaits someone who continuously breaks the law––a hospital visit, a prison stay, or worse yet––a premature death. In the short-term it may appear that they're on top of the world, but in the long run they are doomed to defeat. They are ultimately robbing themselves of a life of health, happiness, and success. Is there a lesson in your life you had to learn the hard way? If so, what did it teach you?
